As I am here across seas, in Vietnam, I wonder how my life would have been different if I wasn't here. I go day after day carrying letters from Martha. I wonder if we would have been more than friends. After I left her, that day at the college, I didn’t want to say I bye I wanted her to be mine. When she writes me she always says love Martha. I wish that it was she loved me the way I love her. I carry two photos of Martha with me. One photo is of her leaning against a brick wall. Then the other is a snapshot of her from the year book. She is so beautiful I would do anything to have her. She is my motivation to keep pushing through the long days. I know after a hard day on the job I can rinse my hands off with my canteen water and look at those photos. Then I will read her letters over again and again. I will then hold them closely to me. I hope for one day that I will be able to go home and Martha and I can be more than friends.
I'm glad that you think of me as a comfort to you when you are so far away, I miss you. And I do love you Jimmy, I love you so much, I just can't love you the same way that you love me. You are my best friend in the whole world and I don't ever want to lose you, but I don't think we can ever be more than friends. Why can't you accept that? We have such good times together and you can find someone that will be so much better to you, someone who will love you and can do so much better to you than I could. I'm sorry.
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